Why isn’t my message landing with my team? Leadership communication almost always breaks in the same place: you are communicating from your default, the way that feels comfortable to you, instead of reading the room and adapting to the person in front of you. Leadership is influence, not a title, and influence starts with meeting people where they are. I learned this the uncomfortable way, years before I had a title of my own, and it changed my results more than any position ever did.

What does it look like when you aren’t reading the room?

Early in my career, every conversation with my boss left me convinced they were mad at me, or done with me. Looking back honestly, that was not what was happening. I was not reading the room. I was not communicating in the way that worked for them, and sometimes they were not communicating in the way that worked for me. Neither of us was picking up on it. Most of the time it was probably my fault. I was talking more than they wanted, and they had appointments, agendas, and goals to get to.

Here is the DISC piece of that. Under stress, I talk more. The more my nerves went up, the more I talked. My intentions were good, but the other person’s needs were not getting met. I was talking to them, not with them.

What changed?

When I went through the John Maxwell program in 2017, I will be honest, I joined for the training product. I have gotten far more out of it than I put in, and the biggest thing I learned from John and his coaches was that my communication strategy had to change to fit the audience at hand, not stay where I was comfortable. Once I learned to read the room and adjust my style, my success grew. People do not care how much you know until they know how much you care, and reading the room is how you show it.

Is leadership a title or something else?

A lot of us chase the leadership position. But leadership is not a title. Leadership is influence, nothing more, nothing less. Maxwell describes five levels of leadership, and I think of them as foundations, because each one builds on the last.

Position: people follow because they have to. That is the title. Permission: people follow because they want to. That is the relationship. Production: people follow because of what you have done for the organization. People Development: people follow because of what you have done for them, the “we, not me” level. Pinnacle: people follow because of who you are.

Every level past the first depends on communication. You can have all the authority a title gives you, but if you are not looking at your audience, it will not land. And relationships can be lost almost as fast as they start when people do not feel heard.

What are the five habits that make a message land?

Ask before you tell. Open with a question about where they are before you deliver your point. I cannot get someone to where I want them to be until I know where they are starting from, mentally, physically, and emotionally.

Lead with why, not just what. Position says “do this.” Permission says “here is why this matters, and here is what I need from you.” The why is what gets people to jump with you, not for you or at you.

Trade monologue for dialogue. Build in a real pause where the other person can respond. I watch great leaders pause while already formulating their next sentence. Two things go wrong: the other person feels lectured, and you miss the good points they are raising. Later it shows up as “we’re doing this anyway” and “I don’t remember that being discussed.”

Follow up on the person, not just the task. Position checks whether the task got done. Permission checks how the person is doing. On a volunteer committee years ago, I pushed for 30-minute videos. When I finally paused and listened, 30 minutes was a big ask for everyone who did not do video every day. We built one-minute tips instead, and it worked, because I bought into them and they bought into the plan.

Adjust the delivery, not the message. Same content, different pace or channel. Text, video, podcast, weekly email, phone call, lunch. Find out how your people actually listen. The message is often lost in the delivery, and we are all over-communicated with now, which makes this harder and more important.

How does DISC help without becoming fake?

If you know any behavioral assessment tool, you can pick up someone’s style quickly. Plenty of people will tell you to mimic them. I do not believe in that; it is inauthentic. Adapt instead. As an I working with a high C, I slow down, get more specific, and stay patient enough to listen to the questions. It is our job as leaders to make the message land, not theirs to decode it.

Can AI help with leadership communication?

Yes, as a resource, not a decision-maker. You decide how to communicate. Then tell the AI the level you are writing at (“this is a permission-level message”), the DISC style of the reader, who they are, and what you want to accomplish. Do not just type “make it polished.” Be specific, and read it before you send it. That is where AI earns its place: it shows you fast whether you were actually clear about your audience.

The leadership tip

Before you lead someone, know who they are. Do they need directness? Reassurance? Systems? Give them that. Right now, think of one person on your team and ask yourself: is my message landing for them, and what is the easiest way to make sure it does?

FAQ

What are the five levels of leadership? Position, Permission, Production, People Development, and Pinnacle, from John Maxwell. People follow because they have to, because they want to, because of results, because of what you have done for them, and finally because of who you are. Each level builds on the one before it, and none past the first works without communication.

How do I adapt my communication style to my team without being fake? Adapt, do not mimic. Keep your message and your personality; change pace, specificity, and channel so it lands for the other person. Slow down for a detail-oriented teammate, lead with the why for someone who needs buy-in, and ask where they are before you tell them where to go.

How should I use AI to write messages to my team? Decide the intent yourself, then give the AI the leadership level, the reader’s style, the audience, and the outcome you want. Avoid one-word prompts like “polish this.” Read every message before sending; AI drafts, you decide.

Want to turn this into a 90-day habit with your team? Start here: https://go.thejblteam.com/90-day-breakthrough-904795

Watch the full video: YouTube link

Justin Letheby, The JBL Team